An Ode to my Mother

Four. It has been four years since I have spoken to you; four years since I been able to send you flowers for Mother’s Day. I remember the last Mother’s Day I was able to celebrate with you. I still have a picture of the flowers in your kitchen that I send you just a few short days before your passing. Four years seems incredibly long, yet somehow short. I still hear your voice in my head that Mother’s Day of 2015. I hope that I never quit hearing it. Here is what I want to say to you today, my mother.

Let’s face it, I was a weird, shy kid with a speech impediment. I knew it, and you knew it. BUT, you never questioned my ability to grow out of it. This belief affects me more than I will ever fully realize. It instilled in me the courage to believe in myself and to always move forward (a trait more important than either of us could have imagined at the time). Countless times you told me how family members would say “Oh, poor Katie. She is always in Jessica’s shadow.” You hated these statements. The fact is, well, I was. I was in Jessie’s shadow. Her clothes matched, mine didn’t. She had friends, I didn’t. She could talk to anyone, I couldn’t.  But you believed. I vividly remember a book called “Leo the Late Bloomer.” It was my book – mine and yours together. Eventually, I grew out of my awkward shyness and became me; someone different than my sister. Although I always admired her, and always will, she was way cooler. I eventually found myself and that is because of you. Because of your belief in me as my mother. I don’t know if I ever told you that. I hope that I did. I think you knew, but I still should’ve told you. If I did not, I am writing it now. You, my mother, made me –  in every sense of the word. That is what you and motherhood mean to me. Thank you.  

Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day. I love you mucho plenty always.