Momma, Do This Instead


Oh, momma, I see you. I see you struggling through these early years. I understand your short temper and little patience. I totally relate when you find yourself screaming in one moment and then crying in the next. I see you fighting mom guilt. I hear your silent cries for help. I see you because I am you.

Dang it, these years are tough. I am five years into motherhood and I still feel like a beginner. I still question myself daily. “Have I fed them enough vegetables this week? Probably not. I should have given them a bath, but I am way too tired for that chaos. Do I discipline enough or too much? Am I teaching them manners regularly or overlooking rude remarks because I don’t want to fight. Did they wear that shirt to school already this week?” These are all thoughts that have entered my brain in the last 7 minutes.

Sister, I get it. This gig is like the Gwen Stefani song from 2004… this S*&% is bananas – B-A-N-A-N-A-S. I know you sang that with me. I digress 😉

What I want you to hear from these words is that you are not alone. I know it feels that way when you are so wrapped up in the routine of your life, but if you would just step back for a second and realize that the mothers since the beginning of time have all survived this season of life. The odds are totally with us!

So take a deep breath and listen to my advice on how to get through these ever-increasing chaotic years.

Here are some valuable tips that I have learned in my stretch as a momma, I hope they find their way to your heart and you can hear them for what they are – advice from one drowning mom to another.

  2. See #1.

That is it.

I’m serious, woman! Stop trying to “do-it-all.” You are not a pink starburst and you cannot satisfy everyone’s needs at the same time AND still take care of yourself.  

You need help and any small way that you can get some assistance, you need to take it! Some high school kid wants to load your groceries while you load toddlers… yes, please! Your second aunt wants to take your baby to the park for a few hours… yes, please! Your husband wants to pick up dinner for the 3rd time this week… yes, please!

Also – you need to learn to ask. Quit putting shame and unwarranted guilt into your brain over minuscule things. Oh, you’re a stay at home mom and you feel guilty for asking your husband to watch the kids after he gets off work so that you can go grocery shopping without the anxiety of taking 3 tiny humans into public? Get over it and freaking ask. Oh, your mother-in-law has said no to babysitting the last 7 times you’ve asked so that you can have a date night? So what? Keep asking. Oh, you are over-scheduled and have no idea how to be at the dentist and gymnastics at the same time? Ask your spouse to leave work early or a friend to watch cartwheels for an hour or if your grandma can step in.

I promise, the more you ask for help, the easier it gets. I’m still learning myself, I am certainly no pro and still find myself in a state of overwhelmed more often than I’d like to admit. I am trying to be conscious of when I get to that point of feeling overextended and on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I pause and ask myself, “who needs me the most RIGHT NOW?” or “Who could help me make this day easier?”

Girlfriend, you are already a superhero and asking for help is not your kryptonite.  

Let’s try to be better about reaching our own hands out to our fellow momma friends. Even when she tells you she’s fine; grab her a bottle of wine, swing by Rosa’s to get that girl a burrito, and then ding dong ditch her house and leave a note on her porch saying “I gotcha girl!”

Be the friend that you always wanted and be the strong woman who is not afraid to ask for a little assistance from time to time!