So, let’s say I had a grandmother who was chronically early. Christmas dinner started at noon; she would be there at 10 am. This was always a little running joke. Just like the jokes, earliness has trickled on down to me. I get anxious if I am cutting it close and have no issue sitting in a parking lot so I can walk in 10 minutes early.
Who is laughing now, Julie?
The downside of time is that as it passes, so do the memories. I sit, looking at a blank piece of paper and want to tell you a story. The page sits for days before I give up because I do not remember. Emery will ask me a question about my past or say something specific that will trigger a memory now and again. I do not understand how we live for the memories but rarely remember them.
I spend a lot of time in the present, and I guess that is where my focus is geared. The idea of making plans more than a few days out is too much commitment. Scared much? HA! Booking.com has worked me through several, “Yeah, I made plans, and now I need to cancel.” To stay committed, it helps if tickets are involved, so I cannot get a refund.
The phrase, “Where has the time gone?” has not had the pleasure of wisping past my vocal cords. I do not look back at time like that. I look at the now. There are no regrets. I want Emery to grow and change. My objective is to be present. The memories of my past may fade, but I remember the feeling my parents left with me. I was safe, supported, rooted for, and loved.
I think the best part of time is realizing the peace that comes with it. Every day gives me a chance to spend time doing what I want to in hopes that when Emery has her children, it will spark an exceptional feeling when they ask her questions about her past.
Memories Triggered:
My grandmother, who was chronically early, also made the best mashed potatoes, would give someone the middle finger, sat on the bench with the team during my basketball games, blew a whistle in the phone when someone would call the wrong number and would call you when she hadn’t heard from you in a while saying, “Well, I guess you aren’t dead” once you answered.
How do you feel about time? Are you living in it, wishing it would hurry up or wanting it to slow down?
