What To Do When Your 2 Year Old Holds a Grudge


What to do when your two year old already holds a grudge?

The short answer is, I don’t know.

Sister and I love to snuggle and watch cooking shows. Technically, it starts as something Cinderella or Cats but then turns into a mommy show. While my daughter is entirely asleep, we have a conversation. She looked so peaceful most of the time, but then the eyebrows take over, and the words spew out.

“Bubba is mean.”

Whaaaat? My son? My perfect child? Mean?

“Why,” I asked.

“He took my Woody.”

Toy Story was prominent in this house once upon a time. We have stuffed animal versions of all the characters floating around here, and when I say all, I mean multiple versions of one. When Sister is upset over this particular Woody doll, my first thought is, “go find the other one.” Also, it’s technically his doll, and she has the Jessie, but I’ll give her this moment.

Brother took her Woody doll months ago, and anytime she gets upset, she brings it up. This is a real-life, certified grudge. Will these tools of memory come in handy one day? Will she be a boss babe CEO? Will she remember her driver’s license and social security number after the first glance? Highly unlikely, so apologies in advance to her future teachers. She may not be able to remember she has a test on Monday, but she’ll never let you forget the day you chose her last or placed her in the back of the class because I’m assuming she’ll want to sit in the front.

What is a mom to do?

Absolutely nothing. A continual sentence stem in our house is as followed: You can be _______ but you can’t __________. Fill in the blanks as needed. The most used phrase at the moment sounds like, “you can be angry, but you can’t throw a fit.”

Can you honestly reason with a two-year-old? No. But I sure do try. I want to tell her, “go get something your brother loves and take it away from him!” But that is called terrible parenting, and also, she doesn’t need prompting to do this. She’s got it on lockdown.

This momma is in constant prayer for Sister so she can use her superpowers of memory for good and not evil.

Do your children hold grudges? At what age did this start, and when does it end?