Do you ever wish you could write a letter to your younger self? Twelve years ago, when I was 22 and newly married with no kids, this is what I would say:
Dear 12 years younger me,
I know it seems like forever away, but God knows the desires of your heart. He knows you want kids, and you will have them. Several of them. Be patient and enjoy your new marriage. Enjoy your husband. Save your money to go on fun trips while you can easily get away instead of spending it on frivolous things you’ll throw away in a couple of years.
Find more contentment and happiness in your tiny home with small bedrooms and bathrooms and a tiny kitchen. More and bigger doesn’t always mean happiness. Actually, it almost NEVER means happiness. The bigger your house and the more people in said house, the messier it gets and the more there is to clean.
Comparison and competition will literally steal your joy. For instance, women will come into your life and do everything they possibly can to make you feel inferior because of their own insecurity. Ignore them and focus on your own talents and blessings.
Save more money. Eat healthier. Exercise more. Read your bible more. Pray more. When kids come, all of this gets exponentially harder to do.
You have no idea how fast this time really will fly by, and it’s a literal blink compared to the length of your entire life. Soak it up!”
I wonder how much of this I would be able to copy and paste again for another letter written to today’s me by future me in another 12 years? Are we being wise to learn from our mistakes? Like really make actual changes that make a difference?
In 12 years, will you have wished you had spent more time with your kids instead of pursuing a dream more? We can tell ourselves we are doing it for them all day long, but the truth is, nothing and no one can replace YOU. They really just need US not “more money” or “more opportunities” for them. It’s ok to say no to something great to be able to say yes to something amazing.
Would my letter say, “Kristina, you focused too much on how things looked to others, keeping your house perfect, having the perfect Instagram photo and filter, what your kids wore, the car you drove, the house you had, the places you went, and your kids resent you for it”? Or on the flip side, will my letter say, “Your kids are grown and graduating and are thankful you were there for them for all the things when they needed you. You didn’t worry about impressing anyone, but God and your family are as close as ever and thriving because of it”?
I hope and pray every day that I end up being more like the second me. I may regret spending a lot of my time doing other things while my kids are little, but I know I’ll never regret spending more time with my kids.
