I have been dreading this day. The day I would start training my crazy two-year-old daughter to use the potty. She’s pretty much Darla off of “Finding Nemo,” making her dramatic, loud and unpredictable. I finally stopped buying huge boxes of diapers to stall, bought her some Minnie Mouse “big girl panties,” and began the training. Here are some snippets of conversation to show how well it’s going.
Me: Tell me when you need to tee-tee ok?
Chloe: Uh, no.
Me: Potty bell went off! Time to dance to the potty!
Chloe: uh, no.
Me: *can’t find Chloe running everywhere to frantically catch her. Find her in the bathroom cabinet* Oh no!
Chloe: It’s wet under here.
Me: Yeah, we don’t want to get our big girl panties wet; that’s why we tee-tee in the potty! (excited face)
Chloe: *literally puts a hand in my face* Stop, Momma. (She was definitely disciplined for that one)
Chloe: *after sitting on the potty for a second* I did it, Momma!
Me: Uh, no you didn’t.
Chloe: YES, I DID!
Me: THERE’S NOTHING IN THERE!
Wes: You probably want to be more of a positive reinforcer on this type of training. (FYI, this was the 40th time we’d had this exact same scenario and I was positive the first 39 times. Wes watched my head explode then quickly went outside to “clean up tree branches in the yard.”)
Chloe: *sitting on the potty* Look at that poop, Momma!
Me: *unenthusiastically looking, then see that there is poop in there!* YEA! YEA! YEA!
Chloe: *starts crying because I scared her with the unexpected, hysterical shouting and now refuses to sit on the potty ever again.*
This is why Simon Holland says you shouldn’t potty train until they turn 12. Good call.