- I no longer lead a sedentary lifestyle; namely, because every time I try to sit down, one of the kids needs something.
- I have been known for my memory. It’s always been super good and helped me survive every memorization quiz, test or speech. However, now that I have two kids, I am constantly short-circuiting. It’s been one of my greatest frustrations. The information just falls out.
- I have trust issues that stem from a husband who took a Benadryl every night for the first three months of our daughter’s life before he accidentally told me and a son who poops in the pot, doesn’t tell me, then pulls his pants up (WITHOUT WIPING) and goes about his day.
- I can eat a cookie and still continue talking normally. My kids have yet to catch me.
- The bathroom has now become a safe haven for all things “me time.” I listen to music, eat meals, work and talk on the phone. I spent at least a year’s worth of time in there for the first three of parenting before my husband suggested I go to the doctor for such frequent bathroom trips.
- I decided I would not be a short-order cook and my kids would eat what I fix. That lasted one day when, after a three-hour standoff over fried chicken, I realized my kids were just like me and neither of us was giving. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- I can get two kids in car seats in under three minutes. It’s a craft that I’ve honed over time. I have considered including it on my resume as a special skill.
- I went from an “I’m just going to reason with my kids” mindset to one where my daughter now refers to spatulas as “spank your bottoms.”
- I can sleep with my eyes open. And I do so… often.
- My life has never been so exhausting, so loud, so chaotic, so frustrating, so full, so lovely or so awesome.
How has motherhood changed you?
