14 signs you have toddlers in the house:
1. In an effort to teach your kid to be “helpful” they really just forgot what they were doing halfway through and didn’t actually throw that diaper in the trash and 5 days later you find said diaper shoved under the chair – singing your nose hairs from the stench!
2. Before you had a time to put away the groceries that are sitting on the floor, you find little bites taken out of every single apple and placed neatly back into the apple bag. He’s probably just calling all those apples as his so he won’t have to fight his older siblings for snacks anymore. Third kid problems.
3. You have a digital thermometer stuck in the toilet from when the one-year-old threw it in there and then the three-year-old used the potty and flushed it.
4. You find random red Sharpie on your walls and you had no idea you even owned a red Sharpie. Like seriously, where do they find these things?
5. Your kitchen table has an entire layer of food caked onto it that you can’t actually see until you sit down and feel the dried, sticky food on your arms.
6. Are you really a parent if you haven’t had to clean poop out of the bathtub yet?
7. You have chairs and stools pulled up to every “off limits” place in the house where you put stuff so they can’t reach it.
8. Every toy in the house can get pulled out in .03 seconds flat.
9. Your socks stick to the floor and you can literally feel your shoes crunching as you walk its so dirty even though you mopped that morning.
10. Someone is always screaming.
11. Someone walks into your bedroom at 4:00 am asking for breakfast and to watch Peppa Pig.
12. You’re convinced that you actually have a small army living in your house by the amount of food consumed on any given day.
13. You get kicked in the ribs 487 times in one night.
14. You also get peed on in that same night.
But these really are the best days ever! 😉