February 13, 2014, was a defining date for me. That’s the day my 15 ½ year marriage was officially over.
Six years ago, I was just trying to find my footing after going through a divorce. I was continuously hearing things I never wanted to know about my failed relationship, whether I wanted to listen to them or not because, well, that’s life in a small town. I was utterly devastated and honestly did not know how I was going to make ends meet for Savannah and me.
I was the girl who had a complete anxiety attack checking out at Walmart because I wasn’t sure how I was going to pay for groceries for us. I felt my chest tighten at the register and tears burning my eyes, but I pulled it together and managed to make it out of the store only to fall entirely apart in my car and then all the way home. Yup. I sure did. Probably shouldn’t have even been driving. It was ugly.
I was scared out of my mind and couldn’t see past even one day. I wasn’t sure it was ever going to get better, but I knew I had to be strong for Savannah and me.
I tell you all of this because I paid my car off yesterday. This was HUGE for me. My car was the first big purchase on my own after the divorce, and I honestly didn’t ever see this day coming.
I wanted to put this out there for the struggling, scared, single Mama, and even those who may not be a Mama but are just struggling with life. It’s hard, no doubt. I feel you 100%!
My prayer is that this encourages you or someone else and gives you hope. It does get better. Put one foot in front of the other. Some days that’s all you can do, and that’s ok. Give yourself some grace. Have faith. Let yourself grieve. Trust the journey. I promise it gets better. It really, really does! I’ve been there. You WILL be ok and so many good things are ahead of you. I paid my car off, and that’s the story I’m sharing here, but I’m also helping my daughter attend the college of her dreams. I wasn’t sure that was going to happen either, but it’s happening, and it’s incredible to see her thrive, considering all we’ve been through.
No doubt, I still struggle, but victories like this make all the difference. They help me realize little by little, they are the building blocks for even BIGGER victories and make me say to myself, “Hey, actually, I CAN do it!”
You may not see them happening right now, but they will, I guarantee it, and when they do, you will feel so empowered.
I did it, still doing it, one day at a time. You can too. You’ve got this!
