Stress has overwhelmed me for far too long—specifically, stress about spending more time with my children. Anxiety has me trapped because, in reality, I am spending time with my kids. Fear has plagued me. And in that fear, I’ve lost the time I so desperately desire. Paradox?
My mom came to visit me for a weekend. It was that weekend that I had a genuine adult “learning moment.” At the end of our time together, my mom made a clear statement to me. She said, “I love how you cook with the kids. Don’t stop doing that. I never did that with you, and I wish I had. Always cook with the kids.”
At this moment, with my mom, I realized maybe I am enough. Maybe I am accomplishing my motherhood goal. Maybe instead of worrying about giving my kids quality and quantity of time, I AM giving my children time. Could it be that I am doing what I want to do all along?
I am investing in my kids. I’m doing this in every aspect of my life, every minute of my day. When we start the morning with breakfast, Kyle Mack pulls up a stool and follows suit. Madelyn goes to the refrigerator to get milk for her cereal of choice. What I’m doing, they’re doing. We do it all together.
I am investing in my kids when I’m reading a book for leisure while they’re creatively playing ninjas or “coach.” They see momma reading, and guess what? They want to read. Kyle Mack and Madelyn pick up books multiple times a day and ask to read to me or for me to read to them. Then, the only problem that occurs is the problem of a storytelling 3-year-old, but that’s another blog.
I am investing in my kids when I’m working from home. My children are with me and model my behavior. When I work, they work. They want “homework,” and in that homework time, they are gleaning the fine motor skills that are so incredibly necessary. They are learning to keep the pen on the paper or that we only work at our desk (not the wall).
My children are in every moment of my life. What I do, they do, and we do it all together.
I’ve decided to give myself a break. I will no longer analyze the quality of my motherhood. I am active in my children’s lives from having “a cup of tea” with them (my Madelyn’s new favorite play phrase) to time outs, and they are just as active in mine.
I AM a good mom. Anyone who knows how a “mom only” bath time goes better KNOW that they are a good mom.
Maybe we should stop stressing over creating the perfect world we dreamt up in our minds and simply enjoy the truth of what is taking place in front of us each day. The dream is reality, and I’m going to start enjoying the dream.
Have you had a similar experience? Tell me about it, and comment below.